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Looking for a good chuckle while you are out in the garden? Prepare to laugh and groan your way through our collection of the 50 best bad gardening jokes. Don't worry, they are not rude but we are not promising they are funny either. You have been warned!
My gardener talked to me about edible herbs I can grow
Did you hear about the gardener who went crazy?
I stood in my garden early yesterday morning wondering where the sun had gone
So my neighbour sees me kneeling down, busy in my garden and asks what I'm doing
I started growing some fungi in my garden, but it failed miserably
My wife is furious at our next door neighbour who sunbathes nude in her garden...
I have a bird feeder in the garden
How did the millionaire gardener get rich so quick?
Why is Incredible Hulk such a good gardener?
I used to make loads of money clearing leaves from gardens
A friend perfected his garden flower beds through a process of trowel and error
Yet again, someone has added more soil to my allotment
What is the gardener's favourite novel?
A friend dug a hole in the garden and filled it with water
Why did the gardener quit?
What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter?
A weed is a plant that has mastered every survival skill except for learning how to grow in rows.
What do you get if you cross a four-leaf clover with poison ivy?
What do you call it when worms take over the world?
I used to have a job making furniture out of plants
Why shouldn't you tell a secret in a garden?
I'm making a belt decorated with herbs from my garden
I used to be terrified of gardening
It turns out my front lawn is chicken proof
What is brown and runs round the garden?
What do you call a homeless snail? A slug
What do you call a tree from another planet? A extra-tree-restrial
What do trees drink?
What do you call two rows of vegetables?
What did the big flower say to the little flower?
What do you call a cheerleading herb?
I think I saw Michael J. Fox at the garden centre yesterday. It might not have been him though, he had his back to the fuchsia
I put an electric fence around my garden. My neighbour is dead against it
Why couldn't the gardener plant any flowers?
What do you call a nervous tree?
What position does a baby plant serve in the army?
I want to tell you about a girl who only eats plants
How can you tell when a plant is scared?
I can cut down a tree just by looking at it
Why was the cucumber mad?
My wife told me I planted the wrong flowers...
What part of a plant has the most friends?
What game to herbs play at parties? Pass the parsley
What is small, red and whispers? A horseradish
Which vegetable is always shivering? A chilli
I was really impressed by the gardener I saw the other day.
What kind of vegetable do you get when an elephant walks through your garden?
What did the George Michael say to the gardener?
Why did the cabbage win the race?
What grows when fed but dies when watered?